CLIENT STORY: How Emotional Triggers Were Stalling Katie’s Career—And How She Broke Through

Have you ever walked out of a meeting replaying a moment where you got defensive, over-explained, or completely shut down? You know it wasn’t a huge deal, but something about it felt bigger than it should have.

Katie, a senior leader in customer operations, was no stranger to this. She was doing all the “right” things to advance—taking on big projects, speaking up in meetings, and advocating for herself. But despite her efforts, something still felt off. She wasn’t getting the traction she expected, and feedback like “You need more executive presence” wasn’t helping her understand why.

The Hidden Roadblock: Emotional Triggers

When Katie joined my Breakthrough Program, she rated her leadership confidence at a 2 out of 10. Not because she lacked skills—she was highly capable—but because her emotional reactions were shaping how others perceived her.

Emotional triggers are those knee-jerk responses that feel bigger than the moment calls for. They might show up as:

🔹 Getting defensive when challenged
🔹 Over-explaining to prove credibility
🔹 Shutting down in high-pressure situations

None of these reactions reflect actual ability, but they do impact how others see you. And when you’re in a leadership role, perception is everything.

The Shift That Changed Everything

Through our work together, Katie identified the patterns driving these reactions. She realized they weren’t about the situation in front of her—they were about old, deeply ingrained beliefs about how she should show up as a leader.

Once she uncovered those patterns, everything changed. She:

✔️ Stopped reacting and started leading with intention
✔️ Developed a calm, confident executive presence
✔️ Strengthened relationships with her team and peers
✔️ Landed a well-earned promotion

By the end of the program, Katie rated her confidence at a 7+—a huge shift in just a few months.

Why Career Strategies Alone Aren’t Enough

Many high-achievers believe career success comes from doing more—learning new skills, taking on bigger challenges, or perfecting their external presence. But as Katie’s story shows, real growth happens when you address what’s happening internally.

Promotions don’t happen just because of what you do—they happen because of who you are as a leader. And that starts with understanding and shifting the unconscious patterns that hold you back.

If you’ve been feeling stuck despite doing all the right things, it might not be about strategy at all. It might be about what’s running in the background.

Want to explore this for yourself? Let’s talk. Shoot me an email with the word Triggers, and I’ll send you a few questions to see if we’re a good fit to work together.

Listen and subscribe on your favorite platform here:

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***Unlock your authentic leadership potential with the BREAKTHROUGH coaching program—designed to help ambitious women lead with confidence, clarity, and impact; visit⁠ saraobriencoaching.com/breakthrough⁠ to get started.

Free Guide: 2-Second Confidence Shift for High-Stakes Meetings:

Visit ⁠saraobriencoaching.com⁠ to Download the Guide today.

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Keywords: 

Keywords: Recognized at work, career growth, leadership confidence, professional success, burnout recovery, work-life balance, visibility at work, career advancement, leadership mindset

Timestamps:

1:52 – What are emotional triggers?

5:31 – Katie: The confidence myth that kept her stuck

9:22 – Katie:  Trust in yourself is one of the biggest components of confidence

12:33 – How Katie got the promotion

17:54 – Myth: “Just tell me what to do”

21:39 – Next steps for getting recognized at work

Music Credit:Track Title: Over YouArtist: AtchSource: YouTubeLicense: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0)

Music Credit:

• Track Title: Over You

• Artist: Atch

• Source: ⁠YouTube⁠

• License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0)

Energy-Driven Leadership: The 7 Levels That Define Your Influence

Energy-driven leadership is the missing link for high-achieving leaders who want to lead with confidence, resilience, and impact—without burnout. Leadership isn’t just about strategy; it's about how you show up, react under stress, and manage your energy.

Subscribe to Lead Easy and listen to this episode as I break down the science-backed framework of energy-driven leadership and how it helps mid-to-senior leaders overcome stress patterns, lead authentically, and sustain long-term success. You'll learn:

• The two types of leadership energy—catabolic and anabolic

• How to spot and shift unhelpful leadership habits

• Simple shifts to lead with more clarity, confidence, and ease

Don’t let hidden leadership habits hold you back. Subscribe now and listen to Energy-Driven Leadership: The 7 Levels That Define Your Influence. Then, email me at sara@sarakobrien.com to explore how this framework applies to your leadership journey.

Resources Mentioned:

FREE 15 Minute Leadership Strategy Call:

Book today ⁠tinyurl.com/FREE-15-Min-Strategy-Call⁠

Listen and subscribe on your favorite platform here:

Apple

Spotify

Amazon Music & Audible

***Unlock your authentic leadership potential with the BREAKTHROUGH coaching program—designed to help ambitious women lead with confidence, clarity, and impact; visit⁠ saraobriencoaching.com/breakthrough⁠ to get started.

Free Guide: 2-Second Confidence Shift for High-Stakes Meetings:

Visit ⁠saraobriencoaching.com⁠ to Download the Guide today.

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Keywords: 

Energy-driven leadership, Leadership burnout, Executive coaching, Women in leadership, Career growth, Professional development, Authentic leadership, Confidence at work, Leadership transformation, Resilient leadership

Timestamps:

0:39 – What is energy-driven leadership?

1:06 – The science behind energy-driven leadership

2:28 – The difference between catabolic and anabolic energy

6:43 – Energy-driven leadership in everyday life

8:49 – Identifying your default leadership energy under stress

18:16 – Energy Leadership Assessment (ELI)

Music Credit:

• Track Title: Over You

• Artist: Atch

• Source: ⁠YouTube⁠

• License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0)

Why Women Leaders Hit Career Walls & How to Overcome It – Breakthrough Coaching, Part 1

Hit a career wall? Tired of putting in the work without seeing promotions or recognition? You’re not alone.

Many experienced women leaders in sales and marketing face hidden challenges that can stall career growth. This episode of Lead Easy kicks off a two-part series where I dive into the barriers that often arise for women with a decade or more in their fields.

We’ll explore:

1. what’s holding you back, 

2. why once-effective strategies may no longer deliver results, 

3. and how my Breakthrough Coaching Program empowers driven professionals to reclaim confidence, authority, and the joy they deserve.

If you’re ready to stop chasing the dangling carrot of promotion, this episode is your starting point to break through, align, and finally feel recognized.

Resources Mentioned:

FREE 15 Minute Leadership Strategy Call:

Book today ⁠tinyurl.com/FREE-15-Min-Strategy-Call⁠

Listen and subscribe on your favorite platform here:

Apple

Spotify

Amazon Music & Audible

***Unlock your authentic leadership potential with the BREAKTHROUGH coaching program—designed to help ambitious women lead with confidence, clarity, and impact; visit⁠ saraobriencoaching.com/breakthrough⁠ to get started.

Free Guide: 2-Second Confidence Shift for High-Stakes Meetings:

Visit ⁠saraobriencoaching.com⁠ to Download the Guide today.

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Timestamps:

0:00 – Overcoming Career Walls as a Woman in Leadership

1:30 – Reasons Behind Career Stagnation for Women Leaders

4:15 – Identifying Hidden Barriers Blocking Your Career Progress

6:23 – Success Stories from the Breakthrough Coaching Program

8:25 – How to Start Your Own Career Breakthrough Journey

Music Credit:

• Track Title: Over You

• Artist: Atch

• Source: ⁠YouTube⁠

• License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0)

3 Steps to Building a Meaningful and Authentic Leadership Style

Do traditional leadership labels leave you feeling confined like you’re supposed to be someone you’re not? In today’s episode, we’re dismantling the boxed-in definitions of leadership and paving the way for you to build a style that’s as flexible and authentic as you are. By the end, you’ll have actionable steps to create a leadership approach based on your unique values, strengths, and energy. Say goodbye to rigid “types” and discover a style that grows with you.

What you’ll learn:

1. Why Leadership Assessments Can Hold You Back: Uncover how they box you into rigid roles.

2. Building a Value-Driven Leadership Style: Lead authentically by aligning with your core principles.

3. Harnessing Energy and Purpose: Tap into your unique strengths to lead with resilience.

Ready to dive deeper? Don’t forget to download your FREE “2-Second Confidence Shift” guide for those high-stakes moments—head to SaraOBrienCoaching.com.

Listen and subscribe on your favorite platform here:

Apple

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Amazon Music & Audible

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Whenever you’re ready, here are 3 ways I can help you grow as a leader and get promoted:

1. Follow me on LinkedIn
   This is where I talk about career & leadership tips, lessons, and slightly unfiltered opinions on how to break through the secret blocks that prevent you from advancing in your career, feeling amazing about yourself, and having a lot more fun at work.

2. Work with me closely in my coaching program Breakthrough
   If you'd like to work directly with me to become an influential leader and get promoted without being someone you’re not, email me the word ‘Breakthrough’ and I’ll get you the details.

3. Develop a higher-performing team

   Transform your team dynamics with customized coaching and team-building sessions designed to foster trust, collaboration, and innovation, setting the foundation for lasting growth and success within your organization.

Email me at: sara@sarakobrien.com for more information.

How to Thrive in High-Visibility Roles

In the last episode, we covered how to position yourself for high-visibility projects. Now that you’re in those roles, how do you show up confidently and make the impact you’re aiming for?

In this latest episode, I share a personal story about navigating a high-stakes presentation.

Spoiler alert: I completely botched the internal review and left others questioning my capabilities.

Listen to see how I turned it around and the lessons I learned.

I also discuss the importance of:

• High-stakes = high mindset: Stay focused on growth, not judgment, and avoid the shame spiral.

• High-stakes = high prep: Preparation is critical, but it’s not always about spending hours—sometimes, it’s just about reflecting on what’s important.

• Building your own safety net: Trust in yourself is your ultimate safety net, allowing you to pivot and respond under pressure.

I’ll guide you through a powerful visualization exercise to experience the difference between forcing yourself to prove something vs. coming from a place of self-trust. You’ll notice how this creates a safety net by shifting your energy and confidence.

Listen and subscribe on your favorite platform here:

Apple

Spotify

Amazon Music & Audible

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Whenever you’re ready, here are 3 ways I can help you grow as a leader and get promoted:

1. Follow me on LinkedIn
   This is where I talk about career & leadership tips, lessons, and slightly unfiltered opinions on how to break through the secret blocks that prevent you from advancing in your career, feeling amazing about yourself, and having a lot more fun at work.

2. Work with me closely in my coaching program Breakthrough
   If you'd like to work directly with me to become an influential leader and get promoted without being someone you’re not, email me the word ‘Breakthrough’ and I’ll get you the details.

3. Develop a higher-performing team

   Transform your team dynamics with customized coaching and team-building sessions designed to foster trust, collaboration, and innovation, setting the foundation for lasting growth and success within your organization.

Email me at: sara@sarakobrien.com for more information.

Get Visibility at Work Without the Hustle

In this episode, we dive into one of the most common pieces of advice given to professionals: "You need more visibility." But what does that really mean?

I’ll walk you through how to interpret and act on this vague feedback by positioning yourself for high-impact projects.

Rather than resorting to hustle and forced effort, we'll explore how collaboration, energy management, and a service-driven mindset can naturally open doors to opportunities.

I’ll also share a personal story of how I landed a high-visibility project early in my career by embracing these principles.

Tune in to discover a more effective, sustainable path to career growth.

Listen and subscribe on your favorite platform here:

Apple

Spotify

Amazon Music & Audible

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whenever you’re ready, here are 3 ways I can help you grow as a leader and get promoted:

1. Follow me on LinkedIn
   This is where I talk about career & leadership tips, lessons, and slightly unfiltered opinions on how to break through the secret blocks that prevent you from advancing in your career, feeling amazing about yourself, and having a lot more fun at work.

2. Work with me closely in my coaching program Breakthrough
   If you'd like to work directly with me to become an influential leader and get promoted without being someone you’re not, email me the word ‘Breakthrough’ and I’ll get you the details.

3. Develop a higher-performing team

   Transform your team dynamics with customized coaching and team-building sessions designed to foster trust, collaboration, and innovation, setting the foundation for lasting growth and success within your organization.

Email me at: sara@sarakobrien.com for more information.

Leading From the Front - How Great Leaders Trust the Process

Many leaders are unintentionally "driving from the backseat", meaning they are going very fast, living and working in a constant state of DOING, and reacting to roadblocks vs. having a plan.

Not only is this anxiety-producing for you as the leader, but also for the people who are driving people along with you - the team you are leading.

In this episode I break down:

• What it looks like to lead from the front vs. the back seat

• Why it's easy to default to "back seat" leading, even for great leaders

• 3 concrete steps you can apply to day to start leading from the front and trusting the process
  

If this has struck a chord with you, I have two invitations -

1. Schedule a 15-min strategy call. We’ll look at the top 3 challenges that might be holding you back from being an effective leader and reaching the next title.

2. Download the “10 underrated qualities of a great leader” and rank yourself to see how you are doing on each one.

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Listen and subscribe on your favorite platform here:

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Google 

Amazon Music & Audible

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Top 3 Qualities That Make a Great Leader

We've all met those leaders who seem to have some intangible quality that makes them great. People want to follow them and they also are able to effortlessly excel in their career and land higher levels roles. In this episode, I'm exploring intangible “great leader” qualities and how you can start to adopt them today so you can step up as a leader and land the next role.

• Grab the Core Values Worksheet Here: https://mailchi.mp/sarakobrien/values-sheet

• Find Me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarakobrien/

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Listen and subscribe on your favorite platform here:

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Google 

Amazon Music & Audible

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2023 Annual Review

It’s official - I’m starting an annual review. I’ll be looking at what went well, what didn’t go as well (and what I learned), and what I’m focusing on for the coming year. It’s a mix of both personal and professional, so prepare yourself for a photo dump.

When I started out, I really didn’t think I’d have much to say. As you’ll see - I was very wrong. I’m excited to start this tradition and keep it going. Looking back is so important to know where you want to go and how much progress you’ve made!

What Went Well?

I READ BOOKS

You might think this is the part where I tell you I read all these books that changed my life. This year, not so much. Yes, I read some books. But when I looked through my library, I saw that I fully read my “guilty pleasure” books - psychological thrillers and historical fiction - and only partially read the self development books.

You know what this tells me? I needed a break. And THAT’S OK. 

I find that my brain goes through phases. Sometimes I’m diving into self/professional development and can’t get enough, and other times I need a break and want to read something light and fun, or at least page-turning. Here’s where I landed (at least the ones I could remember!):

Fully-Read Books:

• The Last Mrs. Parish by Liv Constantine

• The Wife Stalker by Liv Constantine

• The Stranger in the Mirror by Liv Constantine (someone lent me her books)

• The Girl in the Cabin 13 by A.J. Rivers

• Son of Hamas by Mosab Hassan Yousef

• It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover

Partially-Read Books:

• Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson

• The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck

• Grit by Angela Duckworth

• The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter

• Mindset by Carol S. Dweck

I COACHED AMAZING LEADERS

I coached 20+ leaders at multinational organizations and led 8 leadership and team building workshops. What stood out to me the most was that across the board, the biggest thing getting in the way of someone’s ability to reach the next title or improve themselves as a leader is what’s going on inside - the hidden beliefs that are hard to see and even harder to know how to address. It’s common to focus on the tactical or strategic things to become a better leader, but none of it matters if you don’t know what’s making you shut down, react defensively, or burnout. I’ll be focusing a lot of my content this year on how to address those internal issues that are often overlooked, but imperative if you want to have that “intangible” leader quality that everyone is looking to achieve.

I also hosted a beginning-of-year goal planning session with women leaders. We had a great time and a portion of everyone’s ticket went to a good cause (The Sterling House).

I TRAVELED

I went with my husband and 2 kids to Puerta Vallarta, Mexico, Bend, Oregon, and Green Bay and Madison, Wisconsin. The cool part about each of those trips is that other family and friends met or joined us. We also met new and interesting people, and got some quality time with our smaller family unit.

Bend, Oregon.

Lake time in Madison, Wisconsin - my handsome brothers and husband.

Puerta Vallarta with my brother and his family.

On the boat with “Nana and OB” in De Pere, WI.

We took an annual trip with close friends to a lake house in Connecticut and I took a Girl’s Trip with college friends to Minneapolis, Minnesota. 

Kriss / Moles Trip to Lake Pocotopaug - we still don’t know how to pronounce it.

College Girlfriend Trip (Minus 1).

The college girlfriend trip is a tradition I’m especially proud of maintaining for the last 10+ years. We live miles apart, but what’s great about keeping 20+ year friendships is that we’ve helped each other through divorce, illness, and general life-ness. Outside the trips we stay in touch almost daily on Marco Polo.

Until I reflected back, I didn’t even realize how much I traveled. I’m so grateful this has become a regular part of my life.

I PICKED UP SOME HEALTHY HABITS

I started a morning walk routine where I get up, grab my coffee, and just walk. I know this is going to sound blown out of proportion, but it literally changes my day. I don’t try to “exercise” during these walks but oftentimes I get my heart rate up and some extra miles in. I also did the Peloton regularly and got “close” to my goal weight (2024 I’ll surpass it)! 

I STARTED AN ANNUAL TRADITION & KEPT UP SOME OLDIES

We have a mix of friends who golf (some golf well, some are working on it - the former includes me!). I had this idea - what if we organized a private friends’ golf scramble with contests, prizes, and a dinner. We called it Swingfest (GOLF SWING! Don’t get crazy on me) and it was such a blast. We decided to make this an annual event.

Now-Annual Friends’ Golf Scramble

4th of July Tradition at Our Beach

We continued other traditions - 4th of July, Halloween with friends, and a Memorial Day workout dedicated to Kyle Milliken.

10th Annual Halloween Party

Memorial Day Workout - The Milliken

WE FINISHED A RENOVATION

We renovated our attic and are enjoying the ocean views and my new office. I’m not interested in any type of renovation in the near future, I can say that much!

Before

After

I SUCCEEDED AT MY SECOND FULL-TIME JOB AS A DANCE MOM

Enough said.

I STARTED A PODCAST & WAS FEATURED ON A PODCAST

I launched the Lead Easy podcast in the middle of a lake in Wisconsin, because that makes sense, right?? I got a lot of positive feedback and so I’m doubling down on it this year with a lot more focus around the topics (improving as a leader and getting the next title).

OH, and I started a YouTube channel where the episodes will be posted as videos. If you feel so inclined, like and subscribe to help me get it going!

I also had the privilege of speaking on the Hospitality Daily Podcast with Josiah Mackenzie and Mariana Safer.

What Didn’t Go So Well (And What Did I Learn?)

I GOT SIDETRACKED EASILY

I didn’t stay as focused on the important things in my business as I would have liked and chased shiny objects. It became very apparent how much I do something called “creative avoidance” where I spend time on things that I enjoy and are not as scary as putting myself out there and doing the hard things (selling, sharing, etc.). 

MY MESSAGING WAS MURKY

I’m passionate about a lot of things, so when I looked back I saw that sometimes I talked about work satisfaction, other times improving as a leader, other times transitioning careers. They all go hand-in-hand, but I think talking about so many different things made it hard for people to know who I help and how I help them.

I SAID YES TO THE WRONG THINGS

I signed up for a couple work projects that took way more time and frustration than they were worth. I learned that I want to guard my time more carefully and be more judicious in what I take on. 

My life was mostly kids and work and I didn’t do any hobbies for myself. I’m still working on that, but I need more in my life and I’m actively trying to figure out what that looks like.

MY MINDSET WASN’T ALWAYS GREAT

Yes, coaches have to work on this too! I went through a lot of rollercoasters of emotions when it came to my business. I spent time overthinking and in doubt, and allowed some unproductive beliefs to sneak in. One of my beliefs that I’ve become very aware of and I’m working on is “the things I set out to do won’t work and I shouldn’t try.” Obviously it’s not true and I’ll be working on reframing this one.

I ONLY PARTIALLY ACHIEVED MY HEALTH GOALS

This is something that went well and also something that didn’t go well. I came within 2.5 lbs of my goal, which is totally how I operate. I guess I told myself, “that’s good enough, right?” Maybe it is, but what if I didn’t settle for ‘good enough’ when it comes to my health goals? That’s my focus for 2024. 

I HAD BACK PAIN 

I was in a lot of pain and I know it’s from desk/electronic slouching. I’m happy to say I found an amazing practitioner I’m working with, Dr. Mark A Konopka - you can find him here. He works with my marathon-running husband and took him from hyperventilating-pain in his back / hip to pain-free. I’ve tried other chiropractic and physical therapy practitioners and spent tons of money and it didn’t help. I’m excited to report the progress in next year’s post!

What Am I Focusing On Next Year?

I BROKE IT DOWN INTO 4 BUCKETS:

• Mindset: Address subconscious thoughts getting in my way as if I’m my own client. Spend time daily doing a grounding, centering, or meditation practice.

• Clarity: I already worked with a coach to help me clarify my message and I feel good about the direction. I also plan to lean into my zone of genius and blend deep inner work with career and leadership strategy.

• Focus: I have a solid, doable plan, now I just have to DO IT. And stick to it long enough to see if it works and not chase shiny objects.

• Enjoyment: Work gets to be FUN, or at least enjoyable. I want to enjoy work and life, while increasing my energy and reaching health goals. We have exciting travel in the books - St. Lucia, Oregon, and Wisconsin.

I know this is a strange New Year’s Resolution, but I can’t think of a better way to say it - I want to “do more stuff.” When looking back on this past year, although I traveled and did “some stuff”, I didn’t say yes to many things spontaneously, or plan fun things. I let my life get wrapped up in work and kids and to put it simply, THAT’S BORING.

If I’m honest, I get tired early and mostly look forward to being in comfy clothes and watching a movie. And although I like that, I also feel great when I get out of the house, connect with people, and do things I enjoy like seeing shows, visiting with friends, and going out to dinner. If you are my friend and reading this, please push me outside my comfort zone and hold me accountable!

The first thing I said yes to was a Janis Joplin cover band.

I’d love to hear about your year and what you have planned in 2024 - send me an email at sara@sarakobrien and tell me about it!

Here’s to 2024!

~ Sara

3 Reasons You're Getting Overlooked for the Promotion

If you are a mid-senior leader looking to get promoted, you might be tempted to learn new strategies to do things like work on your executive presence, stop micromanaging, or be more engaged with your team. Usually, people work on these things by trying to be more aware and "not doing it anymore," but it doesn't work. These are all symptoms of something deeper, that, if not addressed, will keep popping up no matter how much you “work on them”.

In this video, we break down three key reasons that could be hindering your professional growth. From overlooked skills to subtle office dynamics, discover actionable tips to propel yourself towards that well-deserved promotion. Don't let opportunities pass you by—watch now and take control of your career journey!

• Grab the Core Values Worksheet Here: https://mailchi.mp/sarakobrien/values-sheet

• Find Me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarakobrien/

• Learn More & Contact Me: https://saraobriencoaching.com/

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Listen and subscribe on your favorite platform here:

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